


Swallow

by Superfluous_Gypsy



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blow Jobs, Come Eating, Getting Together, M/M, spermpire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 18:01:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11468769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superfluous_Gypsy/pseuds/Superfluous_Gypsy
Summary: Tony was in his late thirties and really tired of the clubs and hook-ups. The worst had happened: he had emotionally matured- and, godammit, that had not been in his plans. He was on the verge of falling in love with Pepper, but she wouldn't date him if he was still going out and blowing guys several times a week, and he wasn't going to tell her why because she was too rational to believe his "cursed to be a sperm vampire, need jizz to live" excuse. And way too classy to drag into a relationship with him, the back alley blow wonder.





	Swallow

**Author's Note:**

> I've got a lot of WIPs and this one was at a decent point to end it, so yeah. I think I was considering a Tony Needs Come Quick situation with straight!Steve helping out, but I really got into reading this pairing when I began writing it.
> 
> Spermpire... I know I picked that idea up somewhere. If it's a thing you might like, enjoy.

He hadn't thought much of it, at first. It was college, it had been a one night stand, and the girl had gotten the wrong idea. Tony had figured he or the guy he was with had forgotten to lock the door when she came in, saw Tony on his knees, and gotten angry. Maybe she would have gone just as crazy if he had been with another girl, but she had gone all narrow-eyed and quiet as he explained that she had been fun, he wasn't looking for a steady relationship, and he liked guys, too. 

"Well, if you want to suck cock that much, I'll give you a reason to need to," she had said, or something like that anyway, and he hadn't thought about the incident again until about two months later when he was laid up in bed diagnosed with mono, experiencing shakes and sweats, nausea at the sight of food but stomach cramps insisting he was painfully hungry, and vivid dreams about dicks that he thought maybe this wasn't the usual mononucleosis experience. 

So he had taken a shower, dressed, and stumbled down to the student union at about ten at night, found a guy smoking pot in a car in the parking lot, asked if he could get a couple hits in exchange for a BJ. 

Not his proudest moment, admittedly. Stoners tended to not have the highest standards of personal hygiene. But as soon as the guy unzipped his JNCO shorts and pulled his dick out, Tony could feel the compulsion. A rational part of his mind catalogued the smell, the gearshift jabbing into him uncomfortably, the excessive drool he was producing, and the alarming way his thoughts and focus narrowed onto that stranger's junk. But his body was screaming for him to get his mouth on that thing and swallow down all the jizz he could get out of it. 

It was like a religious experience. The stoner's come filled a void in Tony, and once he had licked every drop up and sat up he saw the guy was passed out. Tony needed a few minutes to recover from the experience, and when he noticed the guy was passed out he simply appreciated the convenience of being able to leave without more awake interaction. 

Tony studied this new need with scientific thoroughness. He narrowed down the symptoms of withdrawal, how many hours it would take to reach certain benchmarks of need, whether quantity and dubious quality of ejaculate made a difference, and ended up feeling confident that he could manage the situation until it wore off. It had to be temporary; some sort of hypnotic compulsion the girl (he couldn't even remember what she looked like, besides brunette) had somehow placed in him, because it wasn't like there was magic, right? 

Until he learned magic was totally a thing when he met Stephen Strange, a pre-med with a different obsession with magic than just burning sage and wearing pentagram pendants. The asshole just laughed at him and said he couldn't do anything; the "spell" would only end when some sort of unidentifiable personal "catharsis" had been reached. 

"Fuck magic, fuck catharsis, fuck you," had been Tony's response, but he just heard Strange laughing as he stormed away. 

So, twenty years later, he was in his late thirties and really tired of the clubs and hook-ups and his (well deserved) reputation for being a slut. The worst had happened: he had emotionally matured- and, godammit, that had not been in his plans. He was on the verge of falling in love with Pepper, but she wouldn't date him if he was still going out and blowing guys several times a week, and he wasn't going to tell her why because she was too rational to believe his "cursed to be a sperm vampire, need jizz to live" excuse. And way too classy to drag into a relationship with him, the back alley blow wonder. 

So he pined, and buried himself in work, and starved himself until he was eyeing the bulge in his godfather's pants, which, ew, so wrong. He would rather starve himself to death before resorting to that, but when he needed semen too much he hallucinated and was in danger of losing all control of his actions. 

As his business grew more successful, Tony had to relocate from West Coast to East in order to have some anonymity when he trawled gay clubs for his next fix. Which was how he ended up meeting an Adonis called Steve Rogers. 

"So what are you doing here, Steve?" Tony yelled over the music, leaning against the bar and admiring the man's biceps. 

"I'm here with a friend. He doesn't like coming to these places alone." 

"A friend or a _friend_?" Tony asked, stressing the difference. 

Steve smiled. His teeth were white and perfect, and his cheeks lit up with a flush of pink. "Best friend. I'm not..." 

Tony realized he was barking up the wrong tree, "You're straight. I'm disappointed, but I'll try not hold it against you. Even though it's completely your fault." 

"My fault?" To his credit, Steve looked more amused than insulted or uncomfortable. 

Tony waved a hand at him. "You should at least wear a shirt that fits if you aren't trying to get guys' hopes up. You're a horrible tease, and should buy me a drink so I can force myself to move on." 

Steve laughed, and actually did buy him a drink, and Tony ended up staying and talking with him for a long time to "protect" him from more aggressive men. 

"Get your hands off my boy, twink Woody Harrelson. I only rent him out on Wednesdays," he had snapped with overdone offense at the third guy who'd casually come up to paw at Steve. The intruder ran off quick, and Tony got to see Steve laugh again. 

"This is the first time he isn't hiding in a corner," another man said, walking up and draping an arm over Steve. Tony didn't run this one off, because Steve shook the arm off with an embarrassed but genuine smile. 

"This is your friend?" Tony asked, looking the newcomer up and down. The man was handsome, clean despite his shaggy hair and scruff, and had a sharpness in the way that he was eyeballing Tony back. Tony held his hands up. "I swear, I haven't groped him! Stopped flirting, even, after he said he was straight." 

"No you didn't," Steve said, in a tolerant but amused tone. 

"Well, I would've if I realized your friend could kick my ass single-handedly. When you said his name was Bucky, I expected a buck-toothed nerd who needed you along for protection." 

Bucky scowled at Tony, in a not playful at all way. Steve was looking between them with a sad expression. 

"Shit, I said something wrong," Tony said, feeling a genuine stab of guilt and disappointment. He put on a grin, though he could tell it was shaky. This was the first time in a long time that he had a comfortable conversation with a stranger that was actually interesting and fun. "I'm sorry. If it was about the teeth, it was a joke. I'm sure yours are fine, though next to Steve's Colgate smile, we all probably look like victims of England's dental services." 

Bucky lifted a hand to silently give Tony the finger, and Tony tried to rein in his babbling. "Okay, sorry, I'll leave- hey, wait." And being the uncouth product of poor childhood socialization, he grabbed the stranger's hand and twisted it around as he studied it. "Hammertech. This is the newest stuff; not even on market, yet. Move the fingers?" 

Surprisingly, Bucky did as requested, giving Tony a view of the working knuckle joints, and complying again when Tony put his ear practically on the metal to try to hear any noises through the music. 

"He said the joints would be soundless and the movements natural! There's only one joint on each finger! Five thumbs on a hand isn't natural! Jesus Christ, he's either an asshole or an idiot!" 

"Both," Bucky said. Tony straightened up and looked between Bucky and Steve's faces. They both seemed to be taken aback, though Steve still smiled a little while Bucky remained a bit scowly. 

Tony pulled away from Bucky's hand like he was on fire. "You're right, he is both. Sorry, again. I really shouldn't be let out of my workshop and allowed to roam loose among the public." 

"Bucky, this is Tony Stark," Steve said, like he was introducing someone who was an actual adult with social skills. "Tony, my friend Bucky Barnes." Steve's good humor melted away as he saw Tony's unexpected reaction of panic then defeat. "Tony?" 

Tony couldn't really manage a smile this time. "Shit," he said to himself, quietly, hoping the music would cover it up. "I didn't tell you my last name. This is my first time out at a place like this since the trial, and I thought moving to New York would allow me a bit of anonymity. How much am I gonna have to pay you two to not talk to the press? Do you think I'm going to have to pay off everyone here, am I that easily recognizable? Shit, that's probably impossible. Well, I've been lucky to stay out of the papers this long." 

Bucky looked confused, but Steve looked crushed and put a hand on his slumped shoulder. "Tony? I'm sorry. You don't need to bribe us." 

"Wait, how much are you offering?" Bucky said, grimacing when Steve jabbed him with an elbow. "Kidding. It was a joke. Even though Steve's on the verge of losing his apartment, and a couple grand would really help us out." 

"Forty thousand? With the option of blackmailing me for more when TMZ offers you a better deal?" Tony said. 

"You are not giving us money," Steve said firmly. 

Tony just pulled his wallet out of a hidden pocket. "Steve is one of those self-sacrificing hero types, isn't he?" 

Bucky rolled his eyes and nodded. "The worst." 

Tony opened his wallet despite Steve's horrified and guilty protests. "Shut up, blondie," Tony said, pushing his interfering hands away. "I'm not writing you a fucking check, so ease off. Here," he added, holding out a twenty to Bucky. "I guilted him out of paying for a drink." 

"I suppose this is nothing to you," Bucky said, taking it and stuffing it in a pocket with an overdone sneer at Steve's horrified expression. "But don't try to bribe us yet. I'm interested in what TMZ is gonna offer us first." 

Tony laughed with some actual mirth, interpreting the twist at the corner of Barnes' mouth as a sign that he was joking. "Pragmatic. I like it. Here's my home number," he said, offering Barnes a business card he had written his private number on the back. "Give me a call when that shitty excuse for a hand craps out on you in six days. I better leave, but it was actually really good to meet you. Steve, you're a great guy, I enjoyed our convo. See you on the tabloids," he said, tucking away his wallet and turning away. 

He had left the club and was two blocks away, walking back to his car, when someone ran up behind him. He sighed and turned around but was surprised to recognize Bucky. "Bucky?" 

Bucky was reaching up to put his mechanical hand in his hair before he abruptly stopped the movement and switched hands. "Hey, uh... I wanted to ask...." 

"Seriously, call me in a few days. I'll have made a prototype better than that. We'll get your measurements, then I'll make you a custom one. If you'll be my guinea pig, I'll start a whole bionic limb branch of the company. You need a job? Steve needs a job? How about head of customer satisfac-" 

"Shut up," Bucky said, forcefully spinning him around and pushing him face first against a wall and leaning against him. "You come out looking for some fun tonight?" He said into Tony's ear. 

Once he had figured out that this was probably not a mugging, no matter how much it might look like one from an outsider's perspective, Tony was 100% on board. 

"Mm-hmm," he hummed, pushing his ass back against Bucky. "Can I call you Barnes? 'Cuz I'm not sure I can keep a straight face if I have to say, 'oh Bucky' when we're messing around." 

Barnes bit him on the neck and licked the same spot before pulling back a bit to say, "You're not going to be able to say anything with your mouth full. That's what you want, right? Otherwise, you and your gay panic would be out dating a girl." 

Tony pushed away from the wall and turned around, sliding his fingers into Barnes' pants and gripping the belt tightly. "That's exactly what I want. You gonna give it to me?" 

"Depends," Barnes said. "You kiss men, or is that too gay for you?" 

"I'll kiss you if it'll make you shut up and open your jeans," Tony challenged. 

Barnes kissed rough and hard and thoroughly. His lips were slightly chapped, and he tended to use teeth. His teeth weren't as perfect as Steve's, but Tony was more than okay with imperfect. 

"Totally gay enough to kiss men," Tony said smugly, getting down to his knees and ready to get down to business. It was dark where they were, but Tony was a genius and could easily open a belt and zip fly in the dark. Barne's dick was thick and not too big, uncut, and clean. Tony got his mouth on it and didn't try dragging the experience out. Neither did Barnes; it didn't take long for him to come. Tony licked him clean, tucked him away, then leaned his head into Barnes' thigh to catch his breath. 

"It's... been awhile," Barnes admitted. 

"No judgements," Tony said. "I like doing it, but no one wants to spend twenty minutes giving a blow job." 

Barnes shifted his weight, taking his right hand off the wall and placing it on Tony's head. "Y'want me to return the favor?" 

"Sure. Gimme another minute." The high was starting to fade, but the empty spot inside of him felt warm and sated. "...Okay," Tony said after a while, moving a leg to get his first foot flat on the ground. Barnes held him steady with both hands as he worked his way to a standing position. "Getting old," Tony complained, self-consciously. 

"Shut up," Barnes said, but it sounded friendly. "How do you want me to help you get off?" 

"I'd appreciate a hand," Tony said, going for the pun, but then he felt Barnes stiffen (not in _that_ way) and winced. "I'm not being weird, sorry, it was a joke. A pun. Not like I have a weird fetish or anything!" 

"Shut up, punk," Barnes growled, but they must have been okay again because he went back to kissing Tony. Which, Tony could admit, probably was the ideal thing to do. Barnes helped him get his pants open, then spat into and curled his real hand around him. His palm was rough where it was calloused, and he would create a pocket for Tony to thrust the head of his dick into every few strokes, where it would slide against the remaining moisture of Barnes' spit. He threw in some twisting action occasionally, and Tony was grunting and coming in practically record time. 

"Fuck. You're really good at that." 

"The Army gave me lots of time to practice," Barnes said. 

"Practice at giving hand jobs? I guess the military's changed a lot since the DADT repeal." 

"Yeah," Barnes said, a hint of humor in his tone. "How do you think I made Sergeant?" 

The joke that popped into his head was too good for Tony not to blurt out. "Oh my god, don't tell me that's how you lost your hand?" 

To his relief, though, Barnes almost fell over laughing. Tony smiled and laughed too while he wiped his hands on his boxers and closed up shop, still feeling good from the come and the orgasm comedown. 

When Barnes finally calmed down he said, "Thanks." 

Tony nudged him. "Thanks to you, too." 

"No," Barnes said. "Thanks. Really. You're kind of a jerk, but I like how you didn't just avoid the topic at hand," he added, lifting up his prosthetic for emphasis. 

"You're the jerk," Tony said, lifting his hand to make a jack-off motion, and earning a grin he could make out in the dimness. 

"I don't know what your life is like, but if you would be okay with it, I might actually like to call you. Not just about the hand." 

Tony took a risk and slumped against the wall, leaning his head on Barnes' shoulder. "Ow," he said, as his forehead banged unexpectedly into metal. "It's not just the hand, huh? It's all the way to the shoulder." He left his head there though, and closed his eyes. "I hate the music at the clubs. I'm really tired of having to go out and find the next hook-up. If you think you wanna try, then I wanna, too. Just to warn you, I'm... high-maintenance." 

Barnes snorted. "Surprise," he said, deadpan, so Tony whacked him on the ass. "Ooh, spanking too? You are fun," he said in a silly voice, which made both of them laugh again. 

Tony stood up and tidied up his clothes. "Weirdest hook-up I've ever had." 

"Same," Barnes said, and Tony, weirdly, didn't want to walk away on that odd note, so he stepped up for another of those rough open-mouthed kisses. 

When he and Bucky had hit the 3-month mark of regularly fucking, Tony figured it was time to confess. His symptoms weren't fading at all-- but it didn't seem like were they getting worse, so there was that. 

"So, it's gonna sound weird," Tony admitted nervously when they were sprawled on Bucky's bed post-festivities one night. "But I kinda need to eat come to live." 

"What?" Bucky said. 

Tony kept staring at the ceiling, but the guy sounded more confused than anything. "If I don't eat a guy's jizz every few days, I start getting sick. I don't know if I'd literally die, but it gets really unpleasant. I get hallucinations and shit." 

Bucky laughed. "I'm pretty sure that's not a thing. It just sounds like you're really, really gay. It's okay if you're not into women, you don't need to make up reasons." 

Tony rolled over and propped himself on an elbow. "You don't believe me?" 

"Of course not," Bucky said with a snort. 

"Have you noticed that every time we hook up I eat your come?" 

"Yeah. Just figured it was a thing you liked." 

Tony looked at him like he was an idiot. "Does anyone like the taste of ejaculate _that_ much?" 

Bucky eyed him oddly. "Is this a psychological thing? Have you seen a shrink? If this is a delusion of yours, I have to admit it's a red flag. A weird red flag." 

Tony huffed and lay back down. "I'm not deluded, you asshole." 

"Then is this an excuse for when I find you cheating on me later? Just laying the groundwork early for me to accept it when I catch you blowing someone else?" 

Tony stood up and started getting dressed. "Look, I know it's a weird thing that you've never heard of. I had no idea what was going on when it started, either. But I won't just let you call me a cheater and a psycho and a liar. It's Saturday, right? How 'bout you come over Saturday after next after dinner. You can see what I'm like when I haven't sucked sperm in two weeks." Once he was fully dressed, he left. 

He managed to keep things under control until Thursday. Five days until he got too distracted by hunger cravings to work. Then he holed himself up at home. He didn't have enough energy to fake normalcy by Saturday, and stopped answering the phone. He lost himself in daydreams of giving head and kept jacking off in the hope that _this_ time his own come might satisfy a bit of the hunger, but it never did. 

Most of his hallucinations involved Bucky. Sometimes other male friends, and sometimes whatever guy was on the TV that he couldn't really focus on. So he didn't think Bucky was actually there until he actually touched him. 

"Pepper called me," Bucky said, looking worried. 

"Izzit Sa'r'day?" Tony asked fuzzily. 

"It's Monday afternoon." 

Tony closed his eyes and turned his face into Bucky's palm. "Wan' suck you," he whined, and Bucky must have finally believed him, because soon he was naked from the waist down, sitting Tony up, and Tony nuzzled Bucky's soft dick before getting his lips around it. 

It took a frustratingly long time to get him to actually orgasm, but almost immediately Tony's head cleared. He pulled away, wiped his mouth with a hand, and got to his feet. "Believe me now?" He asked. "Imma take a shower." He licked the side of his hand as he left the room. 

When he entered the kitchen both Bucky and Steve were there waiting. Tony groaned. "You brought Steve to see me like that? Oh my god. ...Hi Steve. No offense meant to you," he said. 

"I do believe you now," Bucky said. "You got much better as soon as...." He trailed off, aware of Steve's uncomfortable demeanor. "You stopped answering your phone and the door when Pepper tried to check in on you. She asked me to come, and I brought Steve because he has more medic training than I do." 

"I told him I'd be pretty useless if you were just sick and not bleeding from a bullet wound, but he insisted," Steve added apologetically. 

Tony waved a hand and drained a glass of water. "Whatever. Thanks. So, now that you believe it's a thing, you wanna stop seeing me? I kinda have to know now, while I still have enough energy to go out and... One shot won't keep me going for too long after starving for two weeks." 

"It was nine days," Bucky corrected. 

Tony pushed his damp hair off his forehead with one hand. "Huh. The timeline must have changed. I made it for 18 days the last time I had a dry spell. Seven years ago?" 

Bucky shook his head. "How did you even get like this?" 

"Oh, did you know magic is real?" Tony wanted to leave it at that, but both Bucky and Steve looked like they expected more of an explanation. "Pissed off a witch in college, and it turned out that she cursed me. I just thought she was spouting off in the heat of the moment. She caught me with a guy, basically said that if I was going to cheat on her with men she was going to give me a reason to need to hook up with men. I wasn't even dating her; I can't even remember her name. She was a one-night stand, but had gotten the wrong idea, I guess. At least I learned to make sure everyone's expectations are clear before sex happens after that." 

"So you are actually a sperm vampire?" Steve said, his voice carefully neutral. 

Tony responded as he ducked quickly back into the living room to retrieve a notebook. "I use the term 'spermpire.' It's a portmanteau. I haven't been able to find any evidence that this has ever happened to anyone else. Here, take a look. I experimented when I first discovered what was going on and took notes. Very scientific." He offered the notebook to them, but neither took it. "Jeez, it's not porn, I haven't jizzed all over it!" He rolled his eyes and dropped it on the table. 

Steve hesitantly pulled it toward him and opened it, but Bucky stood up and walked around the table to stand in front of Tony. "I don't need to know more about whatever this is. We have been exclusive since we agreed, right?" 

"I have, at least," Tony said. "Can't answer for you." 

Bucky sighed. "I have been, too. So whatever we were doing was working for your... condition, right?" 

Tony nodded. 

"Then we can keep doing this if you want," Bucky said. 

"Sure," Tony replied with a shrug, his gaze roaming around the room and avoiding Bucky's intense eyes. "I mean, I kinda like you, so why not?"


End file.
